Plenty of men holding fish

This is a follow up to my last blog post about online dating as a young woman with cancer. Now I feel that I have adequate experience of the dating websites, there is one thing I’ve noticed over and over again. The absolutely ludicrous photos that some of the men are using to try and ensnare the love of their life. Seriously, W.T.F!

Men with half naked women draped all over them, men topless at the gym, men brandishing weapons, men clutching a large fish, men wearing teddy bear onesies. What the hell are they thinking when they post these photos, do they really think any sane woman would find this attractive?! I’ve actually stopped swiping for Mr Right and started making a scrapbook of the weird, obscure and in some cases downright terrifying photos being used.

Men with weapons/wearing onesies.

I have compiled the following list of DON’TS for men when selecting photos, I hope someone out there finds it useful…

1. Photos of you topless. This just makes me assume that you are thick as pig shit and have to make up for your lack of brains with brawn.

2. Photos of you standing next to your car/bike/motorcycle. Women don’t care about your vehicles, we will assume that you’re making up for something that you’re lacking in the trouser department.

3. Photos of you with girl(s) draped all over you. This also includes photos of you where you’ve quite clearly cropped out your ex girlfriend.

4. Photos of you in the gym taking a selfie in the mirror. Boring boring boring, just no. Put these on Grindr not Tinder.

5. Photos of you holding a fish that you’ve caught. I’ve seen these types of photos the most and actually turned it into a game. Dolphins 1 point. Trout bigger than tattooed forearm 2 points. Carp bigger than cuddly frame 5 points. So on and so forth.

Men with fish.

6. Photos of you with football related paraphernalia. Women like shopping and kittens not sport, save that for your mates.

7. Photos of you brandishing a weapon. This means YOU, chainsaw wielding maniac from Frimley! The same applies to guns, knives and samari swords, all of which I’ve seen.

Men with dolphins.

Right, I’ll get off my high horse now. I just wanted to bring attention to the dire photo situation going on on these dating websites.

In other news I have a big results day on Monday where I find out if my current chemo poison is working and to see how much the cancer has spread since my last scan. I will be taking my mind off things by going out clubbing all tonight. Who knows, maybe I’ll meet the man of my dreams? Hopefully he won’t be clutching a fish.